Seventeen-year-old Gilbert Garfinkle is the ultimate tech
geek. He likes to take apart, figure out, and fix things, and he dreams of
someday fixing the world. But now his own life has been taken apart by the one
thing he'll never be able to figure out. Her name is Amber, and she's a
gorgeous girl with a killer smile who wants to turn him into her platonic
BFF--literally forever! It's the ultimate geek's ultimate nightmare, and it
leaves Gilbert asking life's ultimate question: "Why me?"
Why My Love Life Sucks is a funny novel about geeks, girls,
gadgets, vampires, and the start of a most unlikely friendship. It's the first
book in The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, the series that proves it takes the
ultimate geek to be the ultimate hero.
And here's the book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHSVkegWeWM&list=PLCB49B1B8A26EDED3&index=4
Freado (where you can start reading the book for free): http://www.freado.com/read/14575/why-my-love-life-sucks-the-legend-of-gilbert-the-fixer-book-one
Excerpt
The night after Amber bites Gilbert, he wakes up in pain and
confusion in a hospital. He wants answers, so he escapes and heads to the
arcade where they first met.
“Where
to?” the driver asks.
“Bucky
Bee’s on Broadway.”
Everything
seems mercifully quiet the moment I close the door of the cab, but I’m noticing
some extremely unpleasant odors. There’s the smell of cigarettes, the musky
odor of sweat, and something that smells like grungy gym socks. The lights
outside on the streets of New York are so bright and colorful. It’s like I’m
Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, when
everything goes from black-and-white to Technicolor. I have a feeling we’re not
in Kansas anymore, Toto.
The
people remind me of television commercials for fruit-flavored breakfast
cereals. So many flavors, and all so yummy. This is so wrong. It’s like I’m
that damn shark from Finding Nemo. I
have to keep telling myself that people are people, not food. I tie my
sneakers, and try to spend the rest of the ride just staring at my feet.
The
driver lets me off. After paying the fare, I’m left with thirty-four dollars
from the money Uncle Ian gave me, and I still have the other thirteen in my
wallet, or rather Amber does.
“Hi, Alex,” I say as I walk into Bucky Bee’s.
“Anything broken tonight?” I don’t know why I said that. Force of habit I
guess.
“Gilbert?”
“Yeah?”
“You
look different.”
“I've
had a really bad day.” Oh, wait, he’s probably talking about my glasses. “Oh,
and I . . . got laser eye-surgery.” Okay, stupid thing to say. I’m pretty sure
you have to wear goggles for weeks after eye surgery.
“Really,
that fast?”
“Oh,
yeah.” I should have said contact lenses.
“Looks
good on you. Maybe I should get laser eye-surgery too.”
He
informs me that all the machines are in working order, so my services aren’t
needed tonight. Still he lets me in.
I scan the
tables. Amber isn't at one. So what do I do now?
Oh,
wait, there she is, leaning against the wall next to the game I fixed last
night. She’s still wearing her bright red dress, and the navy-blue jacket she
borrowed from me is draped over her shoulders. She sees me, and she comes over.
I find an empty booth and sit down. She sits opposite me. Bucky Bee’s looks
like a rainbow threw up in it, the colors are so damn bright.
“I
hardly recognized you,” Amber says, with a wide smile. “You look great.”
“Great
like a corpse at an open-casket funeral?”
“No,
silly, great as in you're no longer wearing those nerdy glasses, your zits are
gone, your hair and skin look terrific, and you have this really sexy brooding
stare.”
“Brooding
stare?”
“Mmm . .
.” Amber is looking at me and making a yummy sound. I can't help but twitch,
knowing how she thinks I taste and
what part of me she’s tasted. “It’s very sexy.”
“This is
not a brooding stare. This is my I'm-so-mad-I-could-kill-you face.”
“Well,
whatever it is, it's working for you.”
That’s
it. I can't keep my anger inside any longer. “How could you do this to me??”
Wait
a minute . . . Did I just yell in Bucky Bee's?
Fortunately
the noise level is so high I don't think anyone’s noticed. Oh, I’m wrong. Alex
is staring at Amber, so he’s noticed, and he probably thinks I'm nuts to be
yelling at a girl who is way out of my league. Wish I didn't know what you don't know, Alex. And Chloe, who is
working at the counter tonight, is also staring at me. And some guy or girl
dressed as Bucky Bee may or may not be staring at me. It’s hard to tell with
the costume on.
Amber’s
looking around too. We have to wait until no one seems to be staring at us
anymore. It takes several excruciatingly long minutes.
She sighs.
“Look, Gil, I know you're scared.”
“That's
putting it mildly.”
“But
the truth is being a vampire—”
“Please
don't say that word.”
She
raises an eyebrow. “Vampire?”
“Please don't
say it.”
She
laughs and shakes her head. “Sounds like someone is in denial.”
She’s
right. I am in denial. But what else can I do? How the hell am I supposed to
accept this? “I. Am. So. Screwed.”
“No, you're not.” She has this huge smile on her face, and
I want to believe her, but . . . “Listen to me, Gil. In a few days after the
pain has worn off, you're going to see this is the best thing that ever
happened to you.”
Can you share your playlist from when you were writing Why My Love Life Sucks with us?
I try to listen mostly to soundtracks when I’m writing, because I find songs with words too distracting. The words in the songs get jumbled with the words on my computer screen, and that can make it harder for me to see the words on my computer screen as they really are.
This is a link to my favorite Pandora movie soundtrack station. It has music by Hans Zimmer, John Williams, Alan Silvestri, and other great contemporary composers from movies like Brave, The Hunger Games, Edward Scissorhands, and How to Train Your Dragon.
Between writing sessions, though, I like to listen to songs that make me think of specific scenes or specific characters. Here’s a short list:
1.“Breakeven” by The Script reminds me of Gilbert at the beginning of the story, lying paralyzed on his vintage Star Wars sheets and wondering why Amber bit him.
2. “She’s So High” by Tal Bachman reminds me of the scene where Gilbert first meets Amber at Bucky Bee’s and he’s so sure a girl that beautiful could never be interested in a geek like him.
3. “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” (or “Gonzo’s Song”) from The Muppet Movie reminds me of the how Gilbert and Amber somehow knew that night that they were meant to meet.
4. “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas is the song I imagine playing in the club Amber takes Gilbert to where she has a great time and he has a panic attack as girls attracted to his new vampire charm throw themselves at him.
5. “My Life Would Suck Without You” by Kelly Clarkson reminds me of how Amber feels about Gilbert (minus the implied romance in the song) after he rescues her.
There are other songs that remind me of things that happen--or things we learn about the characters--later in the series, but I can’t say what they are without giving too much away. To quote one of my favorite characters from Doctor Who, “Spoilers!” But I have created a Pandora station for the Legend of Gilbert the Fixer, and some of the things you hear on it might fit, while others won’t. At any rate, it’s a fun selection of quirky, sometimes geeky, sometimes funny songs.
Enjoy!
I've always been super geeky about comedy, fantasy and
science fiction.
My last job was at the Jerusalem Post, but I had to quit when my
family decided to move to New Jersey to pursue better education options for my
autistic son.
This was in February 2001. Since then I've written 40
picture books and seven novels for kids and teens, four of which I've indie
published. I was an ABNA quarterfinalist with Why My Love Life Sucks, and I won
third place in SmartWriter's Write It Now contest in the the YA category (which
was judged by Alex Flinn, the author of Beastly) for my romantic, YA ghost
story, Ride of Your Life.
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